Sunday, September 4, 2011

Keep It On The Down Low

We all know or suspect someone of being on what is called the Down Low. I myself have been accused of being on the down low. I take it as flattering if someone believes that I can be in a relationship with a man and a woman at the same time. If only I had that much stamina! But seriously, most dudes look like monkeys to me. The guy in the picture is Jonathon Plummer, the inspiration for the book and movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back. And we all know how that ended. Oh, you don’t?

“McMillan married Jamaican Jonathan Plummer in 1998; she was in her mid 40s and he in his early 20s. He was the inspiration for the love interest of the main character in her novel How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Her life did not follow the movie when in December 2004, Plummer told McMillan that he was gay; in March 2005, she filed for divorce. The divorce was settled for an undisclosed amount. In March 2007, McMillan sued Plummer and his lawyer for $40 million, citing an intentional strategy to embarrass and humiliate her during the divorce proceedings; McMillan eventually won a judgement of intentional infliction of emotional distress, but had withdrawn the suit before the case went to trial; Plummer was never ordered to pay the intended amount.”

Yeah. Kinda puts another spin on your plans to go to Jamaica and get a little loving from a random ass guy, doesn’t it?

Wikipedia describes it as “Down-low is an African-American slang term that refers to a subculture of men who usually identify as heterosexual, but who have sex with men; some avoid sharing this information even if they have female sexual partner(s). The term is also used to refer to a related sexual identity.

Urbandictionary says “A married man who turns into a bisexual by having anal sex with men outside of his marriage.

That is probably the nicest way that site has ever put something. Its funny how sometimes women act shocked when they find out their man is on the down low. I’m like “Are you for real?” When I first saw the real guy from How Stella Got Her Groove Back I said to my television “You have no right to be mad! Look at him!” I know its stereotyping, but come on. Some dudes are obviously getting some strange on the side.

I have no problem with homosexuality whatsoever. I would think that was evident by the fact that I have gay family and worked in a gay porn shop for almost a decade. I also don’t have to “tolerate” gay people because to me tolerate means not liking something and dealing with it silently. But to me if you want to be with one sex then just be with that sex. It sucks for everyone involved. One time these dudes came into the porn shop. They looked like any second they were gonna rob the place, in which case I would beat them upon the neck and shoulders with a two foot dildo. They looked menacing. But as soon as they opened their mouths I knew I was witnessing down low action!

Man 1: “Ooh, look at that one!”

Man 2: “Ask him if he have it in black.”

Me: “What do you want?”

Man 2: “He wanna know if you got that cock ring in black!”

Me: “Okay.”

Man 1: “I don’t want no black one! You wont be able to see it!”

Me: “Hrrm.”

Man 2: “Stop being like that!”

Me: “Me?”

Man 2: “No. Him!”

There are some actors out there that I suspect of being on the down low that are having sex with hot ass chicks. I’ll just sit here and wait for them Tyler Perry to come on out of the closet Shemar Moore and give Black dudes a damned role model or something so that they aren’t alone out there.

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