Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Can A Pornstar Be A Teacher?

Should a porn star be allowed to teach children? That is the question I've been asking myself ever since I heard about this story about a porn actress that goes by the name of Tiffany Six. Her actual name is Stacie Halas and I'm still not sure if she were doing both at the same time though I'm confident she is since she was stupid enough to mention in a porno that she was afraid of being found out at some point. Another reason why I hate interviews in pornos. Dumbass. She was a science teacher at Richard B. Haydock Intermediate School in Oxnard. School officials were made aware of her outside activities by some horndog ass students. Seriously. Why isn't anyone investigating whose kid is watching hardcore porn? And I mean hardcore. This woman does everything!

Jeff Chancer, superintendent of the Oxford school district and who seems to have a porn name (mine is Prince Manchester by the way) said “Maybe it's not a crime as far as the penal code is concerned, but we feel it's a crime as far as moral turpitude is concerned.” Oh, don't be so suburban. Three kids say they saw her in a film and fr whatever reason ratted her out. You let me find out that one of my teachers was a porn star and I would've milked that shit for all its worth. I would've never been home before sundown! Oh, so much statutory going on! I can think of two teachers offhand right now!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Food Porn Bothers Me

Can you believe that Rachael Ray looked like this at one time? I actually bought that issue because of it I had such a crush on her. I doubt I could listen to her talk for more than ten minutes but she's nice to look at. You know what isn't? Food and porn. I got to thinking about this after a friend asked what was the weirdest porn I'd ever seen and I immediately thought of food porn. Now, when you look up the term “food porn” you get lots of images of fancy looking food or food that looks like assholes, penises, or vagina’s. What I mean by food porn is when people have sex and cover themselves with messy ass food.

Ever since I can remember I've had a problem watching the combination of food and porn. I can barely stomach watching someone make out while I eat anything. This is from someone that used to move dead bodies for a living. I'm sure there's some answer that if I dug far enough into my childhood that could explain it but I also know that there's some rabbit holes you just don't go down.