Can A Pornstar Be A Teacher?

Should a porn star be allowed to teach children? That is the question I've been asking myself ever since I heard about this story about a porn actress that goes by the name of Tiffany Six. Her actual name is Stacie Halas and I'm still not sure if she were doing both at the same time though I'm confident she is since she was stupid enough to mention in a porno that she was afraid of being found out at some point. Another reason why I hate interviews in pornos. Dumbass. She was a science teacher at Richard B. Haydock Intermediate School in Oxnard. School officials were made aware of her outside activities by some horndog ass students. Seriously. Why isn't anyone investigating whose kid is watching hardcore porn? And I mean hardcore. This woman does everything!

Jeff Chancer, superintendent of the Oxford school district and who seems to have a porn name (mine is Prince Manchester by the way) said “Maybe it's not a crime as far as the penal code is concerned, but we feel it's a crime as far as moral turpitude is concerned.” Oh, don't be so suburban. Three kids say they saw her in a film and fr whatever reason ratted her out. You let me find out that one of my teachers was a porn star and I would've milked that shit for all its worth. I would've never been home before sundown! Oh, so much statutory going on! I can think of two teachers offhand right now!

Porn Slanger 3

People like to think that when it comes to porn that nothing is off limits. Thankfully that’s not true because there is some stuff that people are into that just should not be cool. Films that involve pee aka “watersports” is one and the next are called scat films. No, I don’t mean a movie where someone sits on stage bee-bopping. Its poop. Good old fashioned poop. Mixed with sex. No. These two things should never go together unless something really bad has happened.

Along with fisting films scat films were something that people would ask for at the counter when I was slanging porn. It was yet another thing that I discovered was a real thing during my seven years there. Before then I thought that it was just a joke that people made about Germany. When I think of Germany I think beer, World War 2, and poop films. Customers would ask for one of these films and I’d tell them that not only did we not sell them but they were illegal. Piss films were as well at one point along with fisting but the rules changed.

Complaints About Black Adult Films

Oh, Black porn. Why do you hate me so? I’ve mentioned before that my first exposure to real, uncensored porn was Black porn. And it blew my mind. Over the years I’ve watched more porn than you’ve spent time with your family. And I’ve noticed some things in Black porn that bothers the crap out of me! There is like a running gag list of things that these pornos, called “Ebony”, do the same thing in almost every one of them that I am just so damned tired of seeing. I did a scientific survey which for me means clicking on ten random Black porno clips and seeing what the results would be.

Mr. Marcus Spreads Cooties

Oh, this is just perfect! Yes, that is me being sarcastic. Porn star Mr. Marcus, pictured left, has shut down porno in the San Fernando Valley. Not in the cool way like “Man, I shut that club down!” No, he actually has stopped the making of what keeps me from killing people by spreading cooties. Turns out he got syphilis while shooting a porno and got medicine for it but for whatever reason could not keep it in his pants and out of vaginas long enough for it to work fully. Oh, and he altered his test results so that he could continue ruining porn. Talk about bad timing. I wrote a while back (click here to read) about the government wanting to make all adult films use condoms.

It's A Wrap!

There are new laws that are going down that will make porn studios that film in The Valley require that the actors and actresses use condoms. This debate has been going on for quite some time because whenever there is a story of one of the performers getting an STD it makes the news. Why? Because we live in a society that likes to pretend that it hates porn.

80% of porn filmed in the US is filmed in The Valley. That’s a lot of porn! One of the ways they plan to do this is by having people actually make surprise visits to porn sets which to me would be hilarious. “The bottom line is we don't want to be known as the porn capital of the world” said San Fernando Valley Mayor Bob Huber. I say look into his past and you’ll find some shady sexual shit.