Along with fisting films scat films were something that people would ask for at the counter when I was slanging porn. It was yet another thing that I discovered was a real thing during my seven years there. Before then I thought that it was just a joke that people made about Germany. When I think of Germany I think beer, World War 2, and poop films. Customers would ask for one of these films and I’d tell them that not only did we not sell them but they were illegal. Piss films were as well at one point along with fisting but the rules changed.
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| Because this is fine, but a human would be better! |
There was this one guy that would come in but not frequently enough to get a nickname so I’ll just call him The Scat Man. Whatever you pictured when you thought of someone who was into poop films is exactly what he looked like. About 50 years old, White, wrinkled clothes, and smelled like cooking oil. He’d amble up to the counter and try his best to look casual.
Scat Man: “Good morning.”
Me: “Yeah.”
(note: Whenever you read about me quoting myself behind the counter of the porn shop, I will always sound like a dick. That’s because I was. I mean, I’m still a dick, but it was more so at 6am selling poppers, swinger mags, and glass pipes.)
Scat Man: “You guys got those films?”
Me: “Which ones?” (this guy looks familiar…)
Scat Man: “The ones with…the toilet.”
Me: “Huh? Oh. Oh? Oh! No. Those are illegal.”
Scat Man: (staring patiently at me)
Me: “We don’t have them.”
Scat Man: (walks away with Sad Hulk music playing)
I know that people are into whatever they are into. I just hated that somehow, some way I figured into their daily plan on the search for films that involved people being pooped on.
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