Superman Viagra

People who try new things sexually tend to end up in situations that are far too embarrassing. If your mate ever says to you “Let’s try something new!” chances are a hospital visit is going to occur in your future. A couple months back some poor guy in Laguna Beach ended up with a cockring stuck on his junk, in public, and the police were eventually involved. It really doesn’t help that this guy decided to try a lot of wrong things at the same time. I wish they would release his name because I’d love to hear why he made this series of decisions that landed him in the news.

A couple spotted a man sitting in his car and thought that he might be dead because this was when it was balls hot in California and he was in his car with the windows all rolled up. The cops showed up and discovered he wasn’t dead but he was butt ass naked. They asked him to get out and he said he couldn’t because he had an ice pack on his junk. Why?

This why.

Now, he had this stuck on his penis. That’s not exactly out of the realm of possibilities. It happens far more often than you think. But he had also taken something called “Superman Viagra” which is a combination of Viagra and Cialis. Each of those things alone should be able to get your penis working let alone slapping a cockring on it as well. Did I mention that he was erect for three days at this point?

It's donkeypunchin' time!!!

Yep. Three days. Every penis pill says to call a doctor if you maintain an erection after four hours let alone three days! So the police tell him that they’re gonna have to call for help and drain his penis and he says “No!” So of course firemen show up and give him some lube. Why do firemen have lube? Because they’re the most whorish occupation that’s why. Between the fear of even more embarrassment and the lube he was able to get the ring off and end up as another reason why I’ll continue to stay boring sexually.