Complaints About Black Adult Films

Oh, Black porn. Why do you hate me so? I’ve mentioned before that my first exposure to real, uncensored porn was Black porn. And it blew my mind. Over the years I’ve watched more porn than you’ve spent time with your family. And I’ve noticed some things in Black porn that bothers the crap out of me! There is like a running gag list of things that these pornos, called “Ebony”, do the same thing in almost every one of them that I am just so damned tired of seeing. I did a scientific survey which for me means clicking on ten random Black porno clips and seeing what the results would be.

First off there’s the music. My god, the music. Out of the ten clips nine of them started off with terrible hip hop music. That tenth one that didn’t? It started ten seconds later after the actress said her name. And her name is Pinky and she makes me happy. The music is always something that sounds similar to a real song in the same way that hearing someone talk about giving birth is similar to doing it yourself.

Everything you think is irrelevant for the next two minutes.

And the talking. Fucking shut up and let people fuck! I’m sorry for cursing so much but in reality I’m not and this blog is all about West Hollywood, gay issues, and porn so if you’re reading this you either stumbled here trolling for porn or know that I’m not right in the head. Every time after showing shots of the girls asses, be they Black women or White women, they zoom in on the Black guy, he mumbles some bullshit, his friend holding the camera and the dude talk about the girls body and what they are gonna do with her ass or worse ask her about how she lost her virginity, he talks more shit as she giggles, then she sucks his junk until his too large penis is shoved in her. Then he talks even more!

Are those nipple rings...? Yep.

The worst…absolutely worst offender is this guy named Wesley Pipes. Fucking hell if this guy never shuts his mouth. Why cant he just stick it in and keep his trap closed while I try to release my demon seed thus calming myself and not killing anything that casts a shadow? And his tattoo. Oh, god. He has a tattoo of a gun that sticks from his waste towards his dick. There are a lot of other things I am tired of with Black porn but these are the main ones. The music and the talking. And apparently having a crew larger than the Wu-Tang Clan on set with you. Everyone has a mike and they all wanna talk!