Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Fist Anyone?

Fisting terrifies me. As much stuff as people are into sexually the idea of putting my fist (my large fist) into someone or someone putting their fist into me is 100% scary. Its one of those things where I think you have to be at a point in your life where you just don’t give a damn anymore. Its not something that can even happen by accident like anal sex. Yes, it can happen!

Wikipedia describes fisting as “Fisting (sometimes called handballing) is a sexual activity that involves inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum. Once insertion is complete, the fingers either naturally clench into a fist or remain straight. In more vigorous forms of fisting, such as "punching", a fully clenched fist may be inserted and withdrawn slowly. Fisting may be performed with or without a partner.

Urbandictionary describes it as “…the act or art of putting a fist in an ass or vagina, very popular practice among more evolved (kinky) gays. Requires great care and huge amounts of lubrication.

You have no idea how much spell checking went into correcting that last definition. I saw a fisting film once. I didn’t wanna. I walked into one. Seriously. Some customer brought a tape back and two chicks that were working at the counter were giggling and laughing at something. I like a good laugh as much as anyone. I walk up to the counter all happy until I see what’s on the screen. Some dude has his arm elbow deep in another man’s ass. Let me repeat that so it sinks in. Pun very much intended.

Elbow deep.

So of course I had to share this pain with a co-worker, the other straight guy that worked with me. I kinda warned him what was on the screen. Kinda.

Me: “Dude, something bad is happening at the counter.”

Him: “What?”

Me: “A jacked up porno.”

Him: “How so?”

Me: “Fisting.”

I probably should’ve told him that it was dudes. He rushes up there and I see his knees actually buckle like someone punched him in the jaw. He clutched the counter and looked at me with wide eyes and three shades lighter. “You fucker…” was all he could say to me before wobbling back to his room.

The messed up thing was that the guy getting rammed wasn’t even hard. And how can an arm be that far up and not have things, uh, moved where they shouldn’t be? How?!

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