In And Out All Day

There was this dude that used to come to the porn shop all the damn time. He was a tall fair skinned Black dude with green eyes that looked high all the time. We never found out his name but we started calling him Boomerang. He got the name because he would come in and out the store all damned day. When I say all day I mean all day. From 8am until after I left work he would come in and out. Not once did he buy anything. He would just come in, check out other guys, and leave.

For a few minutes.

One day we got sick of his shit so we put a sign on the door that said “No In’s and Out’s.” We waited for him to arrive and he stopped right in front of the door, looked at the sign, and stood there thinking. He reached for the handle, licked his lips, and walked away. Everyone at the counter started laughing! Now he had to pick and choose when he would come in the store.

The day of Boomerang ended one day when he was spotted by someone who recognized him. He didn’t recognize him for any good reason. Boomerang had robbed him! The guy looks at Boomerang and Boomerang looks at him and bolts! He ran to the counter and asked me to call the cops.

Him:  “Can you call the police?”


Me: “Is it because of him (Boomerang)?”


Him: “Yeah! He stole my wallet!”

I called the cops and they arrived searching for him. We all went to the back window to watch the free show. Now, I like to think that if the cops were chasing me I would pick one direction and stick with it. But not Boomerang! He literally ran in circles around the block. He hopped fences faster than anyone I have ever seen in my life. He put Kenyans to shame!

He ended up getting cornered when my co-worker shouted to the cops in between puffing away on his cigarette “He’s over here!” The cops snatched his monkey ass u and he was gone for about a year until he reemerged thinner and more shameful looking. I haven’t seen him around the area in a while and can only imagine what he is up to. I heard him talking to a co-worker once about his kids. Yeah. Boomerang has kids!