It's A Wrap!

There are new laws that are going down that will make porn studios that film in The Valley require that the actors and actresses use condoms. This debate has been going on for quite some time because whenever there is a story of one of the performers getting an STD it makes the news. Why? Because we live in a society that likes to pretend that it hates porn.

80% of porn filmed in the US is filmed in The Valley. That’s a lot of porn! One of the ways they plan to do this is by having people actually make surprise visits to porn sets which to me would be hilarious. “The bottom line is we don't want to be known as the porn capital of the world” said San Fernando Valley Mayor Bob Huber. I say look into his past and you’ll find some shady sexual shit.

In Simi Valley under this new law porn producers would have to hire on set medical teams, prove they used condoms, and also send the unedited porn to the police. Read that last sentence again. Unedited porn will be sent for people to watch. What the hell is wrong with that sentence?! Nothing if you’re a perv that likes watching the worst of porn since what is left on the cutting room floor is left there for a damned reason.

They say that civilian employees would do the watching of the porn but you know that is bullshit. What if you, as an employee, decide that porn is against your views? How do you even explain what you did at work to your friends and family? “Yeah, I watched about 9 hours of porn today…”

“We should let the porn industry know it's not welcome in Simi Valley but to pass an ordinance requiring them to police themselves to wear condoms is a waste of tax resources” Councilman Steve Sojka said. Breaking this new law would have a $1,000 fine and six months in jail. “Five years and a million-dollar fine would get their attention” said Councilwoman Barbra Williamson. “I'm sorry we can't do that, but I wish we could.”

Who hurt this woman?! The problem is that apparently there have been a rash of deaths by heroin in Simi Valley and of course this is the 80’s and we think that everyone in porn does drugs and dies forgetting the fact that there are porn stars in regular films and that well known actors did porn at one point. Hell, Michael Fassbender is being praised for his movie Shame in which he does nothing but fuck and flash his dick. Just let people film porn. You’ll never be able to stop it and if anything it’ll just spread or make Gonzo porn even more popular which is almost a damned free for all.