Saturday, November 19, 2011

Plug It In, Plug It In...

“A butt plug is a sex toy designed to be inserted in the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure, In some ways, they are similar to a dildo, but they tend to be shorter, and must have a flanged end to prevent the device from being lost inside the rectum.”

There are so many different types of these things. They come in sizes that range from “That’s Not So Bad” to “I Don’t Care Anymore!” I always apply my thoughts on life to sex toys and with this I ask myself “What about when you’re old?” I imagine that people that use these in ginormous form don’t give a damn about worrying for their future asshole.

This is another one of those things that sold more during certain holidays during the year. Let me explain this to people who buy their sex toys on these days and let you know that the cashier not only knows you’re lying, they don’t care. There were so many times where I wanted to say “I don’t care what you plan to do with this!” They would buy them on April’s Fools Day. Christmas. And birthdays. It was always supposed to be a gag gift. Sure it is. These things not only come in different sizes, they come made with different materials. More than you could possibly imagine.

They have ones that are made of silicone, wood, stone, and glass. Always with the glass! Don’t people learn?! Keep glass away from your genitals, people. They even have some that mostly chicks wear that have a jewel that sticks out. Also available are ones that have ponytails that hang out. Like for reals ponytails with hair and everything. But don’t go around thinking you can wear these things all day long. Not sure why you’d want to but the fact that I have to mention it means that some jackass did and wrecked their ass. Its best to research these before buying one. Don’t think that because it has that little guard at the business end it wont enter the Terrordome. It can and will if you let it. Next thing you know you’re a funny story doctors talk about.

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