Monday, December 12, 2011

Enhance Your Talent

“In March 2006, following thousands of consumer complaints to the Better Business Bureau, Federal agents raided Berkeley facilities, gathering material that resulted in a 112-count criminal indictment. The company's founder and CEO, Steve Warshak, and his mother, Harriet Warshak, were found guilty of conspiracy to commit mail fraud, bank fraud, and money laundering, and in September 2008 were sentenced to prison and ordered to forfeit $500 million in assets. The convictions and fines forced the company into bankruptcy, and in December 2008 its assets were sold for $2.75 million to investment company Pristine Bay, which continued operations.”

Bet that wiped the smile off of Bob’s face. This is the guy from those Enzyte commercials that used to promises you a larger penis. Hell. They not only promised you that in those commercials. They made it seem as if you could play sports better, cook more food, and every housewife in the neighborhood would want to nail you because you have a giant penis. I believe them.

The problem people mix up when wanting a larger penis is that the think that “enhancement” means that it will get larger. No, it will get erect. And that’s if it even works. These are all herbal pills that are supposed to have things that make your junk stiff. See, when your blood is thinner you have a better chance of your penis getting hard. That’s the plan at least. You might as well sniff unicorn horns. The only way to actually get a larger penis is to get surgery which does not sound fun in the least. There are barely any reasons I’d get surgery (besides wanting sharper teeth). Bigger wang is so not a reason. Plus if you have ever seen the surgery or even just a drawing of it I think everyone would change their mind.

The way its done ”…involves the cutting of two tendons that hold the penis up. By doing this, the penis is allowed to drop down and out lengthening it by 1-2 inches. Sometimes this method is combined with the clamping off of some blood vessels making for increased blood retention allowing for a harder and thus larger erection.” Oh, hell no! I’d rather just find a chick that says size doesn’t matter. Oh, wait. They all say that and it’s a lie. Look. Not everyone can have Lexington Steele penis. But take what you got and make it work. And if someone says you’re too small then maybe they’re just too wide.

2 comments:

Hazel said...

"And if someone says you’re too small then maybe they’re just too wide." Oh God, I think I just swallowed my tongue.

Dante Ross said...

Dont do that. Its not good for you.