Porn Tales 11

There is a door that always leads to the nastier stuff when you work in a porn shop. Some places have a curtain which is just gross. You know no one takes that thing down and washes it. Some places have double doors that have been touched by more hands than a Super Bowl champion. At the one I worked at there was a frosted door that was hanging on by a thread. From my first day there I knew that one day that damned thing would fall down and make a really loud sound. Well, one day it did fall and I missed the whole thing much like when the ceiling collapsed.

Oh, and it hit someone in their face.

There was this guy that got shitcanned for giving this same guy a ton of discounts on cigarettes and god knows what else (read that here). So the damned door collapsed and smacked him right across the eye and cracked his glasses and gave him a black eye that eventually turned purple and red. Shit looked terrible. The first thing I thought was “How is he gonna explain what happened to his friends and family?” I mean, if my friends saw me looking like I just had a 12 round bout with Mike Tyson they would have a ton of questions. This guy just showed up the next day and got some free rentals for his trouble.

Come on in...

The ended up replacing the door with saloon type swinging wooden doors that people kept hitting each other with because you could only see from the shins down with it. When I was on Adam Carolla’s show back in the day he said you don’t want to work at any place that has a tilted mirror or name tags. We had the mirror and I would like to add a porn door to the list. Nothing good happens behind that thing.

Click here for previous Porn Tales.