There are a lot of strange ass people in this city. When I worked in the porn shop many of them would visit and get a nick name that fit their character. There was Red Riding Hood, Scabitha, The Gypsies, Overring, Crazy White Guy, and The Model.
But none of them compare to Captain Cucumber. (click image to “enlarge”)
I have been seeing this guy on my street for over a decade now. He never talks to anyone. He never buys anything. He never does not not have a massive dick. There’s no other way to put it. His dick is the size of a beer can. Strangely enough, its never hard. Its just this…blob that sits in his biker shorts. How can I know so much about another man’s penis? Because I have had to see it for years!
You cant not look at it! Its, like, there! He always has the same outfit but different colors. Biker shorts, hoodie, sneakers, and high socks. When the Laker's are winning he sports purple and gold. He disappeared once for a year and came back super thin. Over the next few months he gained all his weight back. No, I don’t know if his junk lost weight but I would imagine that’s where he stores food much like a camel.
I don’t know if any woman would want a dick that big or if any man would be willing to risk his ass to take on that challenge. I’m not even sure if he’s a cruiser. He just parades up and down the parking lot letting his dong (how many more names for penis can I come up with) flop in the breeze. Just so you know, I do not want a wang this big. There’s nothing I can do with that. I don’t even want to bang a woman that could comfortably take that! No amount of yoga can take that. You can do as many Downward Praying Housecat’s as you want and not handle the magic that is Captain Cucumber.
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