Porn Tales 1

Working in the porn shop like I did for seven long years, you get used to lots of weird requests. “Can I try this cock ring on here?” “Can I bring this dildo back if he doesn’t like it?” “What’s your name, cutie?” But out of all of these the strangest, though it may not seem like it, is this:

“Can I use your restroom?”

Seems innocent enough, right? No! You know how much weird, freaky shit can happen in a bathroom at a normal place, imagine the levels of depravity humans can reach whilst in the throws of passion in a porn shop with a stack of magazines. Here are two nasty ass stories.

One morning we (the employees) noticed something weird on the wall in the employee bathroom. By the way there was no customer bathroom. Anyway, we saw these weird marks across from the toilet on the wall. Me and the only other straight dude kept asking “What the hell is that?”

Another employee came in and said “Footprints” very matter of factly. So, in our ignorance we then asked “Why would there be footprints there?” The employee then sat on the toilet while holding a magazine (someone kept leaving Handjob magazines in the bathroom; imagine Penthouse letters but way more vulgar and for gay dudes), leaned back and placed his feet perfectly on the wall while simulating masturbation. I screamed and ran out the bathroom.

Another time this dude came into the store and vanished. I’m serious. This happened all the time. People would wander in and literally vanish. So one of my co-workers came in and opened the bathroom door to find a large Black dude sitting on the toilet.

“I’m naked…” is all he said.

So yeah we called the cops and they actually showed up. Truly shocking. They tossed his bag and found needles, drugs, and old ass porno mags. He had spread out a bunch on the floor in the bathroom for his entertainment. So, no. There were no customer bathrooms.