Thursday, October 27, 2011
Don't Feed The Bears
Here’s a list of the different types of bears. I swear I had no idea it was this serious. I swear, one thing you can give gay folks credit for is the fact that they know what they like and they are fucking amazing at putting them into convenient categories.
Bear Run – a gathering or circuit party for bear/cub types and their admirers.
Baloo - an older bear who befriends and welcomes a younger bear (Cub) into bear culture.
Black Bear - a bear of Black/African-American descent.
Brown Bear - a bear of Hispanic, Middle Eastern, or South Asian descent.
Chub – a heavy set gay man. May or may not be a bear.
Cub – a younger (or younger looking) version of a bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame.
Grizzly Adams – a man who is hairy and is attracted to bears; but does not self-identify as a bear.
Grizzly Bear - a very dominant, heavy, tall, or hairy bear.
Koala Bear - a bear of Australian descent.
Otter – a man who is hairy, but not large or stocky – typically thinner, swimmer's build, or with lean muscle or no muscle.
Panda Bear – a bear of Asian descent.
Pocket Bear – a short bear.
Polar Bear – a silver- or white-haired bear.
Redwood - a red-haired bear.
Trapper - a man of smaller stature attracted to bears, also known as a chaser.
Wolf – a term for a muscle bear who is a rugged outdoorsy or biker type.
Look at that! Its slightly less complicated than learning which flags mean which things. You can wear a red flag and the next thing you know someone is trying to stick their fist up your ass. It could totally happen. Here’s a skit from Kids In The Hall titled “Grizzly” in which someone is "attacked" by a Bear.