Thursday, February 7, 2013

Sex Swing Is Not My Thing

I like regular sex. Call me dull or whatever but increasing the chances of getting injured while getting my groove on is not something that I find enjoyable. So when I see things like the sex swing I get nervous. These things go from $39 all the way to over $300! Pretty sure this contraption isn't the kinda thing you'd wanna cheap out on. End up having your dick snapped in three because you wanted to save some cash. You do not just sit at home and wonder what its like to swing in the air while having sex. Plus, I hate being restrained. You would really have to trust someone to put you in this properly and believe that they wont leave you up there swinging like a dumbass while they clean out your place. I don't even know how you come up with the idea to try something like this but it had to have started on some poor innocent playground in the middle of the night.

That swing ain't ever hurt nobody!

I don't know about you but I don't have any faith in the strength of my ceiling. The thought of trusting it enough to support my big ass let alone another human is close to none. Actually its less than none. These things don't look fun to me. They have images you can find online that show multiple positions that you can do. All of them require the use of straps and such. I don't wanna buckle in to bone, thank you.

"Hey, honey. Feel like making a new regret?"

There was an episode of Sex & The City where Samantha wanted to sleep with this guy that had a swing in his bedroom. It was what he was known for. I'm known for many things but being sexually adventurous is not one of them. With most things in my life I weigh the pros and cons. What are the chances of me ending up in the emergency room? How likely is it that this woman is gonna crush me? Will this even be fun?

100 pounds lighter than most women purchasing this.

You can keep this fetish. With all the weird stuff that folks think of because apparently just sticking your genitals into other humans is dull I’ll stay out of this one. Hell, if I went to some chicks place and she had one of these I’d be out of her house so fast that it’d sound like a whistle. I was just talking to someone about how I don’t like trying new things sexually, especially if there is a chance of me getting bruised. There is nothing worse than getting hurt during sex…when you don’t want it.

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