Tuesday, September 17, 2013

How Big Is Too Big?

Big dicks are like clowns. Either funny or terrifying. Men take pills and get surgery in the hopes that they can get a few extra inches that God didn't see fit to give them. The pills don't actually make it any bigger and the surgery can only give you a few extra inches before you get into dangerous territory where you'll end up with this floppy nonsense between your legs. No, not your date. Besides surgery or pills there are cock rings and penis pumps but those are just temporary fixes for the issue which is you aren't comfortable with the size of your junk.

I have heard many women talk about a guy that had a very small penis and even when they are 85 years old they will sit and laugh at the guy that was 3 inches erect. Then there are the women that talk about the guy that was so big that they dare not allow him inside of them. How about a guy that is 8 inches...flaccid?


This is 41 year old Jonah Falcon. Flaccid, meaning its just there chilling, its 8 inches long. Erect its 13.5 inches long. That seems excessive to me. I've long maintained that I'm a grower, not a shower. This guy manages to be both. This guy was in the news because TSA thought he had a weapon in his pants or was trying to smuggle something. Yeah, he was trying to smuggle a meat baton. Falcon has size 10 feet which blows that whole shoe size meaning anything. His dick is probably as big as his feet.

He says that until he was 25 that he would sleep with men and women but got burnt out and stop taking care of himself. Poor, sad man with a massive penis. He has been single since the late 90's and says that older, more mature women stay in relationships longest with him. “They have been on that road before, they have evolved beyond sex and are looking for something beyond that” he said which I translate to them having seen so much dick that one that looks like the Loch Ness Monster doesn't startle them. He also says he doesn't get up immediately. I picture it like the scene from Clash of The Titans when the Krakkon is released. It takes about ten minutes before it shows up and it is terrifying and then...its done.

"Put it back, now!"

I'm sure some women reading this (do women read this blog?) have had a man this size or close before and have lived to tell the tale of that one time they had to skip work or school for a week so that they could heal.

This is Tony Duncan aka Mr. 18 Inch. I've seen a few movies with him and if I had a wang the size of his I would become a super villain. You'd log into your email and the image of me windmilling this would welcome you. Now, that entire black bar was need and it is just hanging there. Last time I checked he was sleeping with women, dwarfs, and eventually transsexuals. It always ends at transsexuals for some reason.

Now I know he is larger than 13.5 inches. Even when he is “hard” he isn't really. Its like a pillow. A big, brown floppy pillow. But he has a career based off of this thing because he isn't particularly good at fucking. But what I have noticed about him and Falcon is that they aren't lookers. They aren't like these Ryan Gosling looking guys. Duncan looks like a bus driver. But maybe that's some sorta cosmic balancing act. Either way, I'm happy with what I got. Right now. 

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